➡️ 9. Holding on to someone (a friend) who hurts you.

Sometimes you have to walk away from people, not because you don’t care, but because they don’t. When someone hurts you time and time again, accept the fact that they don’t care about you. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s necessary medicine. DO NOT strive to impress them any further. Waste not another second of your time trying to prove something to them. Nothing needs to be proven. Do not act with any thought of them ever again.


I don’t want to EVER Forget this friend, though.

But since my conversations are not good enough, I must move on to other friends that appreciate my company.



With stress, excruciating back pain, depression, and lost-of-strength, I cannot have friends that don’t want Me. With this said, I’m happy. Depression is only bad when pain hits; therefore, vulnerable.


By @petershankman …

Just a reminder – Going through rough shit doesn’t mean you’re weak, it just means you’re going through rough shit. If you feel overwhelmed, talk to someone. A counselor, a clergy, a friend, even me. It gets better, and it does improve, even if it doesn’t feel like it will right now. One year ago the world lost a comic genius to the devastating effects of depression. There is help out there for all of us, and it truly can and will get better. Please – Talk to someone. And worth repeating, the number for the suicide hotline in America is 800-273-TALK.

Let’s take care of each other.


Follow @petershankman on Twitter.


*As I am struggling myself, it does help to talk.

The Clown’s Prayer

Lord, as I stumble through this life, help me to create more laughter than tears, dispense more happiness than gloom, spread more cheer than despair. Never let me become so indifferent that I will fail to see the wonder in the eyes of a child or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged. Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people, make them happy and forget at least for a moment all the unpleasant things in their lives. And, Lord, in my final moment, may I hear You whisper: “When you made My people smile, you made Me smile.”

—The Clown’s Prayer


I ask you to indulge me for a second and read this story.

In 1990, a kid who all his life was labelled as “different,” got into Boston University by the skin of his teeth. He spent the first two years of his college career hanging on by a thread, on academic probation all four semesters. By the time he got into his Junior year, he’d discovered writing and journalism, and graduated with a somewhat-not-terrible 2.8 GPA.

He had a few professors tell him that being “different” wouldn’t be helpful to him as he entered “the real world,” but he never seemed to change. One professor actually shook his head at this kid at graduation, no doubt amazed that he’d been able to walk the stage and get a diploma.

That kid took his “different” outlook on life, and applied it the best ways he knew how. He quickly realized he wasn’t cut out for a “traditional” career, and got fired from his first few jobs for “not fitting in.” Throw in ADHD and the inability to know when to shut the hell up, and this kid was pretty much the poster child for the society of social misfits.

In late October of 1998, with nothing else to lose, he started out on his own, first with a PR firm, then after selling that, as a consultant. Eventually, he founded Help A Reporter Out, and the rest, as they say, is history.

At 4pm today, that “different” kid is again going to walk a stage at Boston University, this time to receive a “Distinguished Alumni” award from the same school where he struggled to not flunk out, 24 years ago.

So I say this to you: DIFFERENT IS GOOD. Being different gets you REMEMBERED, not simply recalled. Being different is the best wish I could have for you, for your children, and for your life. Being different will get you everything you could ever want. Maybe not right away, but in time, without question. And if you know someone who thinks a little different, doesn’t fit in the same circles as everyone else, or who, as my mom always said “walks to the beat of a different drummer”, and who might be struggling with it, take a second and tell them that they’re doing the right thing, and more importantly, tell them to embrace their different ways of being – Because it’s only when we’re different, and not like everyone else, that we can achieve the greatness locked away within all of us.

This is a pretty awesome day for me. 24 years ago, I can tell you with 100% certainty that I never, ever thought I’d be about to get any kind of award for being me. Quite the opposite, 24 years ago today, I had my doubts as to whether I’d even see 2014.

Embrace who you are. Love yourself, and never, ever let anyone tell you that you’re less than anyone else, simply because you might be different.

Thanks for listening, my friends.

Love, light, blue skies, and long surfs,

Peter Shankman



Books by Peter Shankman on Amazon: 


Thursday; May 22nd with Guest @tommytrc 

Topic:  “Video Blogging.” at 10pmET

hashtracking.com/reports/TakeOu via

Q1)    Why did you start vlogging?

 A1 I saw the power of social media when the video of the birth of my son went vital bit.ly/1lYVWcr

A1 I knew the power of video and wanted to leave a legacy for my 3 oldest kids from my 1st marriage.

Q2)    Where do you find your vlog Inspiration?

  A2 My inspiration comes from life lessons all around me, people, places and things. Theses always teachable moments.

A2 And since I only see my kids on a limited basis, Dad can teach them wherever I am. I know they don’t watch today, but someday.

Q3)    What kind of camera do I use to create a vlog?

   A3 I use my iPhone 5S. The BEST camera is the one you have readily accessible. I use the front facing camera – shooting’s a snap.

A3 Here’s a pin board I made of all my logging gear

Q4)    What’s the advantage of vlogging (video blogging) vs just blogging?

  A4 A picture is worth 1000 words, a video is 24 pictures per second 🙂 I want my kids to hear it from their Dads mouth.

A4 It’s all about teaching moments, and vlog’s come easier to me than straight typing.

Q5)    What’s your policy for handling comments from your vlogs?

   A5 I try to answer each and every comment, or at least acknowledge it. It’s a personal touch, but it’s all about engagement.

A5 I do not get loads of comments, but I’m passionate about giving each one a little love 🙂

@Mediachat : YES RT : Commenting is so important for engagement!

    its not about you, its about your audience!!

Q6)    What about negative comments?

  A6 EW!!! Negative comments are comments that need attention also.

A6 I try to follow with those first. Negative comments can turn nasty quick!

Q7)    What editing software do you find easiest to use when creating your vlog?

  A7 I’m a Mac guy at heart and I just love iMovie. Dead simple and free with each new Mac.

A7 Easy to add titles, transitions and merge pictures to the video. As well as upload.

Google free video editing tools. You’ll find a bunch.

Q8)    What services do you prefer to upload your vlogs to?

  A8 I prefer Youtube. It’s dead easy, integrated in iMovie and free-fifty-free!    What more can you ask for?

A8 and you can make money if you are a huge hit like  .

Q9)    What about sound quality?

  A9 good question -The sound quality of the iPhone is pretty amazing. I have tried a few low end external mics, none are good.

A9 There are some pretty good sound controls in iMovie to help eliminate background noise too.

Q10)   How many vlogs have you done?

  >  Apple puts a lot of  love and care into their mics on the iPhones. Increasing getting better each model.

WOW #10 already A10 I have well over 600 video logs to date, dating back in March 2008.

  > @shiorimine  You can get a joby gorilla pod dirt cheap!


Do you luv Social Media?  Well join some of the top SoMe leaders here in the Facebook group

Please let us know of future guests that you would like to see here on.

1- Things I’ve learned (picked-up), on Twitter:

  • If you want to start a conversation with someone, tweet it (text it, email it, etc) in a question form.
  • When anyone/friends want to hear from you, they’ll tweet ya (contact you).

2- I’m not well. At times I have excruciating back/nerve pain, mostly due to Tarlov Cyst disease. My situation in being on disability, having all my furniture/belongings in a storage facility, living temporarily with my mom in her small one-bedroom apt., and helping/caring for her— has put me in a dismal state.

I’m on my 2nd week of Zoloft (antidepressants), and already thinking— I may need a stronger dose.

I was told about:  “every relationship evolves.” Those two Bold words, depressed the heck-out-me. More so—who I heard it from. I just had to research.

“The relationship evolves and either grows closer or further apart.” This had me thinking & sad-as-hell. This friend knows about my pain, and knows what I’m taking for depression. Why was I told this? To hear the truth? Well, it’s true—the Truth Hurts!

Have you ever wondered, if others knew the real You, they would not be interested in You?

(me) 3 things to remember for a friendship relationship:

  • Loyalty/Caring
  • Listening
  • Trust

Humpty Dumpty once said, “I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I’m not sure you are aware that what you heard is what I meant.” (Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll)

Source:  http://70030.netministry.com/apps/articles/?articleid=32538&columnid=3844

“A World Happiness Database study found that people with close friendships are happier.”

Source:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship#cite_note-2

I feel, the only thing I did to be ‘Liked’ is ReTweet/Share, and Help.

This friend loves to make people happy. How come I feel worse? TIME HEALS. I’ll be okay. 🙂    

Note: I have a back illness, and I’m taking antidepressants due to so much. Be careful what you say to someone dealing with depression and be thoughtful, understanding, & caring. If you’re a friend, just be one!

Do Friends REALLY care?  Some do Not!

*Thinking* Are my conversations good enough? Are my interest? Am I good enough? 

A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.  -Unknown

Thank you for listening!

Tips. 15% 20% and/or ??

Note:  First of all before I start— let me tell you— I may ramble but who should care; no one. Absolutely no one. Ellen Degeneres rambles all the time. This post may or may not be edited, but it’ll be Awesome. Why? Because it’s my blog, and I don’t give a hoot about criticism! 


I worked at a salon for 14 years on commisson + tips. Salary also, but close to minimum wage (actually less than minimum wage).

The tip I want to write about is “Tips” / “Tipping”—

I received as little as change (coins) to as much as $10, $20, or $25 (it may be more, depending on the service).

I treated *everyone* the same, and gave each and everyone of the customers the same great job I did. The job being haircuts, hair-braiding, shampoo, haircoloring, waxing, and last but not least—nails.

In todays time, I see people working a little bit harder for those people that tip them the most. That, to me, is terrible— especially in this economy. And, in the area I am living in.

I would say the difference between ‘those people’ and I— is that I truly loved my job as a cosmetologist (salon worker). I was passionate about my work.

Taking care of *whoever* walked through the salon’s front door was a blessing.

One salon operator in specific gave a disgusted look when she saw a customer that tipped very little— come in to the salon.  Do you think this operator was busy? No.

I; however, was always booked. To make an appointment with me, a customer had to make it in advance.

Who wins? The nice, the courteous, the patient, the caring, and the passionate! 

*When one is doing well, and can tip 20% or more— do it. You’re helping the economy.

Though, when poverty hits and you no longer can tip that 20% you were once use to— tip whatever you can. Those that cannot tip extravagantly don’t go to high-end places anyway.

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